• “I saw your browser history.”
• “Do you even know what you’re doing?”
• “We’ve already tried this.”
• “You don’t even know what you’re doing.”
• “Beyonce isn’t that great.”
• “How many times do I have to tell you?”
• “You have five seconds…”
• “I don’t even know who you are.”
• “Didn’t your parents ever tell you that?”
• “Is this where you live?”
• “… Why are your hands down your pants?”
• “Is that a lobster?”
• “You’re late on child support.”
• “You never go ass to mouth.”
• “One ring to rule them all…”
• “He doesn’t even go here!”
• “Did you just take that?”
• “Is that a unicorn?”
• “You’re a muggle.”
• “It’s your turn to do the dishes.”
• “Were you going through my computer?!”
• “Are you pregnant?”
• “You need to be honest with yourself, no one likes Nickelback.”
• “Shut up.”
• “I know you’re having an affair.”
• “They’re dead.”
• “Voldemort isn’t dead.”
• “Let me see your phone.”
• “I can’t believe it’s over.”
• “How high are you right now?”
• “I was with someone.”
• “It’s not necessary to replace you, you’re not missed.”
• “Why do you think we never worked out?”
• “What went wrong?”
• “You’re the most ridiculous person I know.”
• “Are you okay?”
• “I’m having an affair.”
• “Too little too late.”
• “Snoop Dog just came into the diner.”
• “You said we could get a puppy.”
• “I need to move out.”
• “You ordered a moon bounce?”
• “Don’t you want me?”
• “Meeting your mother changed my life.”
• “Janitor’s closet NOW.”
• “Is that for sale?”
• “Do you want to get a drink sometime?”
• “Your resilience is comparable to that of a cockroach.”
• “He has a knife!”
• “I was on an episode of Cops once.”
• “Are you a hoarder?”
• “We’re alone out here, you know?”
• “I killed her.”
• “I need to go.”
• “Why did you invite me to your wedding?”
• “You always do this!”
• “You’re the master of excuses.”
• “Did you hire a stripper?”
• “I just got out of jail.”
• “It was you all along?”
• “I know you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
• “Were you ever happy?”
• “You’ve been in that same exact spot since 9 this morning.”
• “There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”
• “This is it.”
• “I can’t believe it’s you.”
• “We’re getting evicted.”
• “I know who you are.”
• “I wrote you a letter… Every single day.”
• “They’re going to kill me.”
• “You had sex with a serial killer.”
• “Are you drunk?”
• “I didn’t love you anyways.”
• “That was the worst day ever.”
• “That was the best day ever.”
• “Is this your first date?”
• “I’ve never been kissed before.”
• “You’re famous!”
• “I can’t see you anymore.”
• “What’re you here for?”
• “It’s always been you.”
• “If this were a movie…”
• “Are you high?”
• “Stick a sock in it.”
• “You’re better off without me.’
• "I’m better off without you.”
• “You’re like a freaking Taylor Swift song.”
• “What do you want?”
• “Fuck it.”
• “That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard.”
• “Who ARE you anymore?”
• “Can I get a refill?”
• “Well you don’t see that everyday.”